Steeped in GraceYou Are Consciousness Itself![Steeped in Grace is a chapter excerpt from Shift Your Mood]
A mostly empty gourd makes a lot of noise when you rattle it—but a full gourd doesn’t make a sound. —Tibetan proverb. Many eastern traditions have a custom of not saying much about your meditation experiences—just be whatever you are experiencing—you don’t have to announce it to the world. Your progress (or lack thereof!) will be obvious to everyone around you. The Dalai Lama commonly deflects questions about his spiritual attainment by saying he’s a only a simple monk, just beginning to get an idea of how any of this works. I think that makes a lot of sense within a cohesive culture, where teachers and sages are recognized by their enlightened involvement with their own community. But in our extroverted, multi-cultural society, with many different traditions existing side by side, I believe it can be helpful to provide more personal experiences—not to show off, but simply to share what it’s been like to grapple with these ideas, myself. Teachers I’ve studied with often use stories from their own lives as a way to bring their insights down to earth, so others can relate to them. I don’t want to present myself as a spiritual “guru” or highly-evolved practitioner—I’m simply a fellow voyager along the path, struggling to catch myself in unproductive patterns as much as anyone. Nonetheless, the following experience was one of the events that inspired me to write this book. So I’ve decided to share it in the modest hope it may be helpful for others, as we venture along our chosen paths! Clear Consciousness Mindfulness can help us catch ourselves when we get caught in a negative vortex, and that moment of choice can reinforce our ability to shift our moods. As you become less reactive, you’ll become more open-hearted. In fact, this shift can evolve beyond momentary relief, to a profound way of experiencing your life, other people, and the world around you. While meditating one morning several years ago, I became aware of this subtle sense of clear consciousness shining through me. All my stories and history dropped away, and there was a pure awareness of this most exquisite sense of being. Because there was nothing like a story or identity attached to it, in some ways it felt totally selfless—there was no “me,” no sense of grandiosity or uniqueness—yet at the same time, it felt familiar, a heartfelt homecoming, my own true nature: as though I were steeped in grace, or consciousness, itself. This felt so poignant, that tears came to my eyes, and for some months afterwards, whenever I spoke about it with friends, I would well up with an amazingly fresh sense of wholeness and love, laughing and even weeping at times, without even knowing why. I suspect now it had something to do with an acute awareness of the paradox at the heart of human existence: we imagine, and often experience ourselves, as separate—and of course, each of us has a separate body and mind—yet there’s an essential loving reality that brings us together, if we let it. This poignancy arises from coming home to our true selves, like a wanderer returning from exile. A few months later, while participating in a workshop, I sat in the middle of the circle and turned around slowly, gazing into each person’s eyes. I sensed the loving connection of all beings, each with their own consciousness, peering out at one another. 
I looked outside and could see a lone Monterey cypress framed by the window, which appeared to me as an object of exquisite beauty. I wanted to embrace the entire world. Over time, this experience has faded a bit in terms of its luminosity. Photo:JaneThomas, IAN Image Library And yet I remember other times and places when I’ve felt something similar, but just not identified it in any particular way: while hiking in the mountains, making love, gazing at the ocean, or even walking down stairs: there’s a sense of just-rightness in the moment. I remember once as a young man looking at my hands, and being struck by the miracle of cell differentiation—every cell has the same DNA, yet depending where it is in my body, it becomes part of my hand, my heart, hair, eye, or skin. There’s an intrinsic wisdom in our natural growth. The Perfectly Ordinary A wonderful sensation of well-being can be tempting to hold on to. Yet there is also something very plain, matter of fact, just naturally-the-way-things-are about this kind of experience. I think in some ways that’s just as well—it really is nothing special, an ordinary event—and that’s partly what’s so lovely about it: the significance of commonplace reality, the perfectly ordinary, which makes it so readily accessible, at any moment. I’ve come back to the saliency of this insight again and again, not by grasping on to the previous experience, but by simply reminding myself that I am consciousness, itself—we are all embodied consciousness. Your own body, your whole sense of being-in-the-world, can serve as a vehicle of perception and awareness. When I’m feeling whole in myself, I can look around as though I were a camera of all the senses, drinking in sights, sounds, sensations, tastes and smells. The inherent beauty of the surrounding world, the pattern of a leaf, or the clouds passing over the moon, all generate a deep sense of gratitude. When I’m in touch with this natural responsiveness, each moment becomes fresh, and new—now this, now that—unfolding in a never-ending cascade of sense impressions—being present, again and again. Of course, the intensity of any given moment doesn’t last, and I don’t want to hold up my own experience as anything extraordinary, or that I’m someone special for having it. And I’m certainly not able to sustain this way of experiencing life all the time! Yet having had a glimpse of it, I have a better idea of what’s possible. Rather than thinking of it as anything special, this recognition of the perfectly ordinary is simply the realization of what already is, if we could only cleansethe doors of perception so we can clearly perceive the world’s infinite beauty, despite the insanity that goes on all around us. We don't need to subscribe to any particular beliefs in order to experience this sense of awe that is at the heart of all mystical traditions. It’s available to anyone, believer and nonbeliever alike—it’s simply a part of human nature, and something we can all have access to, regardless of one’s faith. I suspect this sense of awe is what’s really at the core of all our values of love, empathy, and compassion. Steeped in Grace We can think of this fleeting breakthrough as a moment of grace—but grace is not rare. We are steeped in grace, and we don’t even realize it! In the workaday world, we have blinders on partially to keep us from being distracted by the miracles that unfold before us in every moment. Once on a silent retreat in the Santa Cruz mountains, I was eating my lunch outside on the deck overlooking Monterey Bay. For five days, all our meals had been taken in silence, and this quiet contemplation had enabled my mind to relax considerably. Suddenly, a blue jay let out a single squawk—and I couldn’t help but laugh. In the peaceful space I was in at the time, its squawk seemed at once like a protest, as well as a rueful recognition of the poignant paradox of our mortal condition. Some see grace as coming from the outside, while others see it as a dormant resource within, yearning to be awakened. Spiritual traditions and sacred rituals can elicit the ineffable: Hindu or Zen chants, a Catholic mass, Sufi dancing, a sweat lodge, vision quest, or a silent Quaker meeting. Art, dance, music, and poetry can also help us transcend our usual limitations. The natural world beckons us with its own grace, its own natural and awe-inspiring blossoming forth. Encounters with animals, children, or loved ones can move us, when we allow our hearts to open. Use whatever traditions, methods, or resources that appeal to you to awaken the grace of each moment. Try this: No need to strive for grace, just notice what’s here, right now. Life is living itself through you. You are consciousness itself, steeped in grace. “If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man is it is: Infinite.” * * * * * * Rik is the author of the upcoming book: Shift Your Mood: Unleash Your Life! Your Pathway to Inner Happiness Sign up for Rik's Ezine! to get your free special report. Just fill in this form, and please tell me about your biggest challenge! You'll also get announcements of upcoming workshops, releases, and other resources you might be interested in.
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